You’ve probably been in one of these debriefs.
Someone loves the candidate.
Someone’s unsure.
Someone mutters “they’d be a good culture fit,” without being able to explain why.
Then the conversation either spirals into circular debates, or worse, settles into vague consensus because no one wants to push too hard.
That’s not alignment. That’s drift.
So here’s the process I use instead. One that replaces “fit” with something measurable, discussable, and grounded in real expectations.
Every team has them.
The unofficial heartbeat.
The person others naturally gather around.
The one who knows who’s frustrated, who just got great news, and who needs a quiet check-in after that tense meeting.
They’re not always a manager.
Not always the most senior.
But they shape how the team actually works, beneath the org chart, beyond the process docs.
These are your culture flag bearers.
They’re the ones who keep morale afloat when projects stall, who help new hires feel like they belong, who carry the informal weight of how we do things around here. They’re the emotional translators, the social glue, the people you don’t officially depend on, but absolutely do.
And if you’re not looking for them, you’re missing half the story of your culture.
How Do You Spot a Flag Bearer?
Watch what people do when no one’s directing them.
Do several people from different departments talk about the same person, and know details about their life outside work?
At company events, who’s naturally at the center of the group?
When tension hits, who gets the Slack messages asking, “What’s really going on?”
You’ll start to see the pattern.
They’re the ones people orbit, not because of title, but because of trust.
Can Someone Become a Flag Bearer?
Flag bearers aren’t born. They emerge.
It’s not just about being outgoing.
It’s about how that person fits into the emotional rhythm of the team, right now.
Every hire shifts culture.
That shifting balance of personalities, values, and energy determines who gets drawn to the center.
Sometimes a flag bearer fades. Sometimes a new one rises. And sometimes you realize you’ve been watching one grow without noticing.
If you’re paying attention, you can help shape that emergence.
What If the Flag Bearer Is Misaligned?
But not every flag bearer carries the kind of flag you want flying.
Some amplify your culture.
Others quietly undermine it.
We had one.
They brought energy, humor, and connection. Especially among our dev team.
But they were also lazy, dismissive of company priorities, and deeply resistant to change.
Their influence was real. So was the damage.
We spotted it. We coached them, starting with peer feedback sessions and gently pointing out how their behavior was affecting momentum and morale.
They couldn’t. Or wouldn’t, change.
Eventually, we parted ways.
Failing to spot a harmful flag bearer is worse than failing to recognize a positive one.
Because these people don’t just reflect culture. They amplify it.
What Happens When the Flag Bearer Leaves?
The team will grieve.
That might sound dramatic, but it’s real.
When a flag bearer leaves, whether through burnout, layoff, or opportunity, it hits differently.
People feel unmoored. The vibe shifts. Slack goes quieter. Jokes don’t land. Trust takes a breath.
I remember one. After a round of layoffs, they came in early and stocked the kitchen with coffee and snacks. No announcement. No “look at me.” Just a small act of care, something human, something normal, at a time when the air felt heavy. People didn’t say much. But I watched them linger in the kitchen just a little longer that day.
Sometimes the culture doesn’t need a speech. It needs a moment like that.
Your job isn’t to paper over the loss. It’s to name it.
Be there. Hold space. Let the team process.
But know this:
Culture doesn’t stop.
When someone pivotal leaves, the tone shifts. The inside jokes change. New rituals form.
The flow doesn’t end, it reroutes. And fast.
Another flag bearer will emerge. They always do.
How Do You Support a Flag Bearer Without Burning Them Out?
They carry more than their job. They hold the team’s emotional architecture together. They’re the ones others go to when things feel off, who know when someone’s struggling even if nothing’s said.
That’s draining.
Praise helps. But it’s not enough.
Protect them.
Align their tasks to their interests.
Give them projects that energize, not just ones that rely on their empathy.
Make sure they’re not defaulting into every people-problem or conflict-resolution role.
Check in with them. Quietly. Consistently.
And avoid common traps:
Don’t make them your emotional sponge.
Don’t delegate culture to them and disappear.
Don’t praise them in private and ignore their needs in planning.
When a flag bearer burns out, it’s not just their energy that disappears, it’s the sense of stability others relied on. The emotional gaps they used to fill become noticeable fast. The team feels it. Quietly at first, then all at once.
Could You Be the Flag Bearer?
Sometimes you don’t need to find one. You just need to realize… it’s you.
Here’s how you know:
- People come to you with their problems, work and life.
- You know people’s birthdays, partner names, pets, favorite games.
- You find people stopping by your desk just to chat.
- At lunch or in the kitchen, people drift your way.
- You’re the one people trust when things get hard.
That’s not a badge. But it is a responsibility.
And once you realize it, you can treat it with care:
- Ask for support.
- Set boundaries.
- Know what you’re carrying, and when to put it down.
Flag bearing isn’t a job title. But it is real. And knowing you’re in that role is the first step to carrying it well, without letting it carry you.
Not All Flag Bearers Look Alike
After nearly three decades of watching teams form, fracture, and thrive, I’ve come to recognize a quiet truth: there’s more than one kind of flag bearer.
Some are loud. Some are almost invisible. But they shape culture all the same.
Here are a few I’ve seen most often:
- The Anchor - calm, consistent, the person people rely on when things wobble
- The Connector - always introducing teammates, remembering birthdays, stitching people together
- The Firestarter - rallies energy, keeps spirits high, makes the team feel alive
- The Watcher - quiet but deeply tuned in; they notice who’s drifting, and bring them back
Sometimes you need more than one.
Sometimes you only have one, and they’re carrying more than they should.
Seeing the type helps you support them better.
Ignore it, and you risk misreading what’s actually holding your team together.
What If You Don’t See a Flag Bearer?
Even if you don’t see them right away, they’re there, quietly guiding the tone of the team.
There’s always a flag bearer.
The question is: What are they representing?
Sometimes they’re obvious. Magnetic, social, undeniable.
Other times, they’re subtle. Quiet. Emerging.
That’s when your job shifts: not to appoint them, but to grow them.
See who’s starting to connect people.
Who shows care. Who steps up, even imperfectly.
Then support them. Send people their way. Let them know you see them.
Give them opportunities that help them grow.
Because the smallest flag bearer, with the right support, becomes the strongest signal of what your culture really stands for.
Final Thought
The strength of your culture isn’t in your values page, it’s in the people who live it out when no one’s watching.
Your job isn’t just to set the tone. It’s to notice who’s already humming it, and give them room to amplify.
Find them. Back them. And when the next shift comes, because it will, build a culture strong enough that someone always steps forward.